Warning: Contains Nothing Endearing

Hello. I am lonely. I don't have any good friends and can't confidently communicate.

I always said what I thought the other person wanted to hear to the detriment of developing a personality. I was scared to say opinions or divulge experiences, so now I don't have either. I spend my interactions avoiding personal questions.

I don't have a bad opinion of myself. I have a disconnect, a cocktail of superiority and self-loathing. I feel like a spectator among a group and I don't respect authority. If my boss tells me to do something, I just think it's funny how power displays itself in interpersonal communication. I hate confrontation, so I subvert it when I can.

I find it hard to care about anything and react badly to people who do. I will test their point of view by teasing or questioning them. I don't know how to be around someone if they're being earnest.

I'm not always so ugly.