Tales from Social Media | 3

I was checking the latest Instagrams today.

Scrolling past a particularly portrait landscape, my phone started vibrating. When the image hit the top of the screen, my thumb pushed the landscape up and out the top, where it was spat out as if from a Polaroid.

The same thing happened with the next picture in my feed, as with some force my phone shot from the screen a picture of an empty stage. Before long drinks, cleavage, smiles, trees, and groups of happy celebs were emerging from my phone. The little squares of filtered cardboard were bullets from my machine thumb.

It was raining Polaroid pictures and they made a carpet all over my carpet. At one point the phone itself joined the confetti storm, leaving in my hand a deck of cards decorated with the latest Instagrams looking blurrier than usual.

My phone was lost in the sea it created, and wasn't to be seen anywhere. I called tech support but they said they only help those who lose phones on dry land.

I'll have to try and find it tomorrow because I need my phone to make replies and do other important things.