here is distant


I remember people used to refer to me as “the zoom host” just because I could run fast. Back then the internet was just a fancy fax machine, one with a few extra sockets, all of which crammed dangerously to the brim with wires. Me and my pals didn't care for any calls: not re, not courtesy nor video. As for bad connection, well, that was something only adults could have; at the time we had yet to grow up.


I awoke this morning wanting to return to sleep, but didn't for an hour or few. I'm not sure what I ended up having would call itself a nap or the continuation of night, but I am sure that shortly after my second awakening I entered my truck in order to drive it. I don’t like guzzling the earth's resources, but it's preferable to wasting the carpet staring at the extravagantly thick day. Hands on the wheel stopped at least three cigarettes from being smoked by my mouth.

I thoroughly enjoyed the trucking because I ate a so-called “wrap of the day” from a McDonalds restaurant, like I'm known to often do. Then I toured the best crannies of the city, even though I don't know of any yet. Like many other places, it's home to architecture and at weekends there is culture. I won't be able to live in the nooks of the city because I'm a stranger in them. There are other ones nearby, I think. It will be something I won't learn until I bring my truck to them.


So semblant So sealed So entrance Unpeeled To the brink To the feel In the morning In the night The pressure Pressed tight An explosion And alive, she's alight So laughing At the sun So grasping At the fun So darting To the left So smiling So undressed I'm the worst I'm the best A blessing, a curse Watch me Perverse

Watch me Just watch me

My screaming She is wry My battle She is crying Warnings're boring, hardly unkind Softly Unwinding On carpet On the floor Atmosphere Torn more Sure implied What is known Untethered What is seams Not knowing What it means and flat, sidling And sidled, and flat And sidling, and sat And sidled


Try shoving your head so far up your backside it comes out your frontside. Onlookers won't notice it ever moved from above and between your shoulders.


I have been a blogging for a year now and I can see myself continuing for years to come. In the coming year I will continue to deep dive into today's challenging issues, and I'll of course keep up the life hacks and easy-to-follow advice to make you the best YOU. Here's some of my favourites from the year just gone:

Ways to save money WITHOUT BUDGETING

Tips and tricks to make blogging effortless and fun: how to blog for big cash in 2019

Fake fake news is the new fake news: finding post-post-truth has never been harder: 3 truths you'll know is real news


Prawn Cocktail Cheese and Onion Salt and Vinegar Smokey Bacon Tai Sweet Chilli Ready Salted Frazzles Chipsticks Hula Hoops Kettle Chips Pom-Bears


I'm not your friend. I've dressed pixel ducks. Giving a goose hid inside my Valentino white bag.

It's quite nothing. Just a spare tired. Honeygry as fuck because my Valentino white bag.

Go therverywhere. It's fucking noisy. Sad hours pm at my Valentino white bag.

Spill farcicles. Pleasure from Pretty. Stuffing skullenvoid into my Valentino white bag.


Feel free to use this email to formulate your next mediocre barely readable retort

Thank you for the idea.

I dare say it might be the most interesting thing on your blog, though you do again, have yours truly to thank for that one.

Keep it coming.

That is definitely one very obvious difference between us, because I write for purpose and I don't argue, and certainly wouldn't be caught dead doing so just for 'the fuck of it' as you seem to be fond of doing.

I never thought of it like that.

You're really quite fragile


You write badly formatted post-teen crap


Your posts aren't what I think anyone considers 'an enjoyable read'


Until you have this many views on one of your posts (see attachment). The most 'read/established blog', that crown is also mine, especially seeing as 4,000 of those views were made within 3 days. You'll have to try a LOT harder though and quite frankly, I don't think it's possible with the content and style of writing you have.

What a handsome attachment.

You're lucky I don't have half a mind to come back and publicly ridicule you for the cheap hack you are. Well anyone with half a brain will realise after wasting time reading just one of your posts that there's nothing worth commenting on at all.

And yet...


Experience 26

Context Straight white male

Positioning United Kingdom

Type Romantic

Occupation Poise

Dreams Grass

Fears Conservatories

Blog referred to as Post-teen crap

Navigate Click my hashtags #Clout #Narration #Drivel #Journal #Gallery

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There once was a man named Ted Money was all that he had He lost his head, breaking his leg And cried 'cause it never got better

There once was a woman named Lynn Money was all that she had She joined the gym, didn't get thin And cried 'cause she was a quitter

There once was this couple that tiffed Money was all that they had They went for a drive, feeling alive 'til they went off the edge a cliff