here is distant

I'll tell you about me because I am here and you are distant

I love London probably because I don't live there its streets of global collaboration pulse to the centre of everything pieces of all that's human all that's now, with a sliver of tomorrow there's a fuckton of poverty and baby faced posh boys drinking in pubs time to go

#Journal

I drag a mouse all day to meet an end found in the heads of boys who are paid like men to get up from bed with work that's just some made up free time. I went to work for nine then did more at home till when the phone's clock still in my coat said it's a new day since thoughts of rest were had as if it could be done.

#Narration

My weekends have boozy eyelids that open and close to the tune of drizzle. Now they're heavy to crackling spa waters and chilly feet. Saturday's chords closed doors that opened again for post-post-coitus of washing up gone piled. There simply was no forks left. My grandchildren won't know about the ripped naan two days from Monday but I'll tell them about the Sunday Trading Act 1994. They might suggest I liver a better life or never start to exist.

#Narration

The foetus months felt like only days. Incubation seemed so vividly memorable, until outside took its toll. I've seen old photographs and made new ones with all my camera phones. Snap, snap, stop. My time with no direction has given me seeds of natural selection. A warm welcome to the brood of years to come.

#Narration

I have two headaches, some unread messages and a bottle of water that's three quarters empty. Nose is crinkling thinking.

Whatever

Said my mother. I've pissed her off again.

I have a dog's funeral and I'm not joking

Said the groupchat.

It's pinot grigio

I said last night, in reply.

You don't remember anything

Accused the girl who stole my eight year old heart.

#Journal

Acres of vapid humdrum spout wispy nothings and creeping misfortunes. In desolation, nature doesn't stop feeding itself. Elsewhere the silent air hangs mightier. Stirred not yet ignited. Wincing, trapped in comfort. Degrading but dying to feel. I've looked after my body with cookies, and my tumbling mind with a song.

Naked and sweating, bathing charmed for an hour. Now I'm clothed and blogging. It's funny how we, conversation and snoozing machines, choose to be entertained. Haha! Either we hurt each other because we hate ourselves, or my perceptiveness is a little off-kilter. Is my receptiveness a little too filtered? I'll receive a fuckton of Christmas. So please, let's enjoy this most wonderful time of the year.

#Narration

My eyes were wide, my mouth was wider and squeaking erratic frenzied vowels. My brains were thrown up living room walls, where they dripped down towards the skirting boards. I wasn't distressed just fleetingly home alone, eating cereal and picking shit up.

Before too long, the lights went off again and a self was cobbled back together. As tasks of necessity became pasts of necessity, the rock and hard place metaphor came to mind. I considered it altogether ill-fitting, because if my hard place was a post-work engagement, that would make work my rock. I don't think so.

Faces in scenery and memories can be pierced by eye contact that consumes insecurity's otherness. I tell myself I'm not the only one who can make a smile, until I no longer need to. Lurking are reflexes to laugh and needs to scream. I want my composed fraught and contradictions spewed all over everyone. Join me in a cultural space, see me in a head place, find me in my dreams.

#Narration

Two youths approached me as I locked up my bike. They warned me how easy it was to break locks and that the city centre isn't a safe place to leave your bike. They demonstrated the ability of their feet by dislodging some wheels that were apparently better than mine, due to their suspension.

Not one for aggro, I smiled and engaged in some banter, jokingly asking them not to steal my bike. I was trying to mix mature poise with some youthful cheek. Of course, they could outdo me on the latter. After all, I was undeniably the owner of a midrange commuter bike.

I should have just hopped back on and parked it somewhere else. Pride is a strange thing, I thought as I walked away from my locked bike, almost certain that they would soon pleasure in its demise.

I was meeting a girl at the pub, intending to break up with her after a couple of months of seeing each other. “If my bike dies, so be it, I deserve it,” I thought as I avoided the pressing subject, and her eyes.

This is horrible, I thought as we hugged on the street. It was cold and there was potentially a long walk home. “This girl is hurt because of me”, I thought as we walked in opposite directions away from each other forever.

The good news was I soon found my bike seemingly untouched. I felt relief cycling home, on two counts. As I showered before work the following day, I thought about crap like upsell and cross-sell. It was a big day coming up in the office.

True story.

#Journal

I have been a blogging for a year now and I can see myself continuing for years to come. In the coming year I will continue to deep dive into today's challenging issues, and I'll of course keep up the life hacks and easy-to-follow advice to make you the best YOU. Here's some of my favourites from the year just gone:

Ways to save money WITHOUT BUDGETING

Tips and tricks to make blogging effortless and fun: how to blog for big cash in 2019

Fake fake news is the new fake news: finding post-post-truth has never been harder: 3 truths you'll know is real news

#Drivel

You can catch me exhaling in the foyer or saying supposedly something to an elsebody. My line between thinking and speaking can sometimes be dense, like the passing thoughts I have about you. Saying without thinking's vice versa is tantamount to rolling eyeballs up walls, and back down again. My self assurance is growing quickly, at the expense of a whimsiness drowned out by adults keenly performing poise. If we liaised soon, I could try to show you what remains of my wit.

#Narration

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