Creaking Ditch Pigeon

I have a crush on a girl I sit two metres away from every day. The office is not an environment where I feel comfortable, or capable, of forming any kind of meaningful relationship, but she is friendly towards me and laughs if I joke.

Today she was talking of how she lacks direction her job and feels a bit useless at work sometimes. I will freely admit to this blog that it pleased me to hear it. Most of the characters in the office hide their insecurities behind overt self-satisfaction and are painfully incredulous in the face of anything that even remotely challenges them. My crush's vulnerability and unhappiness feel so much more honest and relatable to me. I genuinely find myself wishing gentle dissatisfaction onto her. Maybe because otherwise she'd never be interested in me, maybe because I am jealous of other people's happiness. I just wish I could connect with her

and that she didn't have a boyfriend.

This my 12th blog post. Its title is stolen.